Sunday, January 25, 2009
#3 - Follow My Fascination
I received two special pieces of mail on Thursday - my "12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women" book and a letter of appreciation for the painting I submitted. The letter made me feel good, and proud too, that I painted for a good cause. Now I'm eager to paint for myself. Also, I was excited to get my book so that I can get on board with the rest of the group. I have a lot of reading to do.
The book starts out with a quote that just really speaks to me:
"Your creativity is waiting for you like a dance partner." -Barbara Sher
painting in background "Oma" - by my daughter - age 10
This is my dance partner - from across the room it calls to me yet I stand back, hesitant to approach for fear I will mess up. I'm not a dancer, at all - I'm too embarrassed of what others will think of me and I have no rhythm whatsoever. But no one is looking so what am I afraid of? It doesn't matter if I look silly or make a wrong move - just go for it and don't hold back. As much as I wish that I could dance I wish that I could approach a canvas without trepidation - hesitant to make that first brush stroke. I want to paint freely with big, bold strokes of color just as if I was gliding across the dance floor listening only to the music in my head, letting my body relax and feel the beat. I want to see what's in front of me, put my brush in the color and quickly translate my vision to the canvas without thinking twice. I feel like I over think my painting - like the few times I have been on the dance floor - I try to think how I should be moving instead of just relaxing and feeling it.
The third chapter, "Secret 3 / Follow Your Fascinations", starts with a quote: "If you can put fear aside, you're unstoppable" - Janet Hagberg
So this next canvas, I will put that fear of making a wrong stroke and try not to over think it. I'll just squint my eye at what's in front of me and translate quickly and boldly. It will be fun. We'll just see how that turns out.
The 3rd chapter talks about risk taking. What kind of risk taker am I? The problem is I don't feel like I'm much of a risk taker at all. This holds me back. If I were to take a risk and follow my fascination I would sign up for a Plein Aire painting adventure in Provence right now, book a flight to France and experience the dream I've always dreamed of.
I've painted several paintings of lavender fields in Provence - compositions from made up from several photographs I pulled out of magazines.
But I want to paint these scenes standing in my floppy straw hat with the sun warming my back, easel in front of me, mixing the perfect shades of lavender with my oils, intoxicated by the scent of lavender surrounding me, and paint til the sun dips below the horizon.
So what is stopping me from doing this? What real risks are there? I don't know the language, I'm afraid to travel alone, I don't have the extra money right now, etc. Well... start saving now, take my daughter with me (she knows the language) and there you go - that takes care three things I thought were stopping me. My creative self is inviting me on this new adventure and I'm ready to follow.